Nothing New!

I really don't have much new to report...I'm still going crazy at work and am hoping this weird phase I'm in ends soon. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I just keep telling myself it will work out.

Since things have been so crazy at work, we decided to do a second Clomid cycle, instead of moving on to injections. I'm afraid that working in three different departments who all want 20 hours of my time won't mesh well with additional monitoring appointments. So, I'll do another easy Clomid cycle before moving on (assuming this cycle wasn't a success). If that cycle is also unsuccessful, I think we may have to pass on fertility treatment in December. Unless things line up differently than I'm thinking they will, we'll be out of town for Christmas when I would need to have an ultrasound and bloodwork. At first, I was sort of disappointed that we should have to 'skip' a cycle, but I'm over it. I certainly can't control the calendar!

So, assuming I am still not pregnant in January, we would start injectables then. Way to ring in the new year! :) I still have some decisions to make about when I should switch to an RE (since my ob/gyn does monitoring and everything), but I'll save that for another day.

Future Plans

My job situation is still up in the air, but I may have two potential options. Of course, that is fantastic news! The downside is that I am currently "helping" both departments, which is a serious scheduling nightmare. I'm supposed to be splitting my time between them (since my department is closing), but I still have some work to do for the job I already have. It's stressful, and I just hope I get some news soon that one of them will be hiring me. The other problem is that I'm not sure what I want. They are two totally different jobs, with different futures. One is high-profile, with a future that is hard to imagine but most likely secure. The other is almost the same thing I do now, but with a different group of people. This other group of people, though, can be a challenge to work with. Every day, I change my mind about which job I want, and the back and forth between the two groups is making me a little crazy. I'll be happy when it's over.

It's also hard to tell how each job would work in terms of fertility treatments, pregnancy, and hopefully, parenthood. In my current position, I could go to doctor's appointments fairly frequently without asking for permission or even really letting anyone know. As long as I get my work done and attend the majority of meetings I have scheduled, it pretty much works out. In these positions, it's hard to tell. In the higher-profile position, I would definitely need to let my potential boss know. I thought the other position might be more flexible, but the emails I've gotten today make me question that. I wish I would just get pregnant, so I could look at these positions in the right context. Not knowing what's going to happen makes it so hard!

On the positive side, my temp. was 98.0 again today, so I definitely ovulated over the weekend. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Great Weekend

We had such a great weekend...the weather was fantastic, and it felt like we were gone much longer than two days. We had some amazing meals, went shopping, and spent way too much money, but now we are back to reality. :)

My shopping was somewhat limited because of my swollen abdomen, but I was able to buy some cute tops for work. I finally got the peak on my monitor on Saturday morning, which was a relief! My ovaries felt a little achey all day on Saturday and a little bit on Sunday, but it's better today. My abdomen isn't sticking out quite as far, but it's still not like it was before the cycle started. I'm starting to wonder if part of the issue is that I have just put on weight, but it'a hard to say for sure.

I screwed up my bbt over the weekend. We stayed up quite late and slept late, too, so my temperature was higher than it should have been. I didn't even bother with it on Sunday. It was crazy high today, though - 98 degrees - so I definitely ovulated over the weekend. I'm guessing it was yesterday, because I almost always O on the second peak day, and it couldn't be today because my temp. was already high this morning. There's a small possibility it could have been Saturday, but I suppose the fact that I know I ovulated within a 2-day range is what's important.

It will be interesting to see how my bbt is for the rest of the cycle. My temp. doesn't usually go up so high right after ovulation, so I'm hoping this is a good thing. The temperature shift was much more dramatic than when I ovulate on my own, which I'm assuming means I had a stronger ovulation. I'm a little bit hopeful, but I'm mentally prepared for AF to arrive, too. I'll be disappointed if this didn't work, but I would feel enormously lucky if it were this easy.

Hectic Week!

For some reason, it has been a really hectic week. We are going out of town this weekend, and I am looking forward to it! I still have not ovulated, but I'm hoping it will happen soon. Today is CD15, and I still have not had a 'peak' on the monitor (which is the equivalent of a + opk). My dr's office did mention that I might ovulate late from taking Clomid, and I guess they were right! From what I've found online, it looks like it's common to ovulate 5-10 days after taking the last pill. So, it would be anytime between now and next week. I have had some O pains on and off, and my lower abdomen is actually sticking out. It's kind of wild - it literally protrudes - just below my belly button. I remember the same thing happening several years ago, but that time I was on a way higher dose and for more days, and I also had the trigger shot. I thought that maybe with only 50 mg, I wold be able to get by without the protruding tummy. Oh well - at least I know that eventually, it will go away (unless I get pregnant, I suppose - but then it would be fine!).

Happy Friday!

Things I am Thinking Today

- I need to stop eating so much leftover Halloween candy

- I feel a little bloated

- I bet I will feel really bloated in another week

- I hope I am offered a job to replace the one I am losing in a few months

- I can't believe I had to turn down a job interview in another state (because of the job market in M's field right now)

- I need to do my new (low-impact) exercise video when I get home

- I also need to go to the store and make chicken chili

- I bet I won't do my new exercise video, after making the chili

- I wonder if I should try Clomid again, or move on to injections

- I wonder when I should switch from my ob/gyn to the only RE in town (who actually lives in another state 2 hours away and has practices in both locations)

- I wonder what my insurance will cover, and why they have to make it so confusing

- I wonder if I'll ever have children

- I wish some things were just easier

Weekend

I finished taking Clomid on Saturday night. Overall, it wasn't so bad...I had some hot flashes on the 2nd and 3rd day of taking it, but it wasn't a problem toward the end. I have been tired, and I can't tell if that's from Clomid or not. I started to feel pretty bloated on Saturday, but it's not too bad. Overall, it's been extremely easy, in the scheme of things.

So, now it's sort of like any other month, except I have to be more diligent with our timing and make sure we don't miss our window of opportunity. I'm still using the CB fertility monitor, but we're aiming for an every-other-day approach effective immediately. :) It's only CD11, so we probably have some time, but I don't want to lose track and screw up the days. The fertility monitor is already reading as "high," but I guess the high readings are the ones that can get screwed up from Clomid. The peak reading should still work. Even if it doesn't, we'll have it covered with our every-other-day approach!

M and I started talking about our next cycle this weekend. I'm not sure what we'll want to do. A Clomid cycle is so cheap and easy, that it's tempting to try another. At first, I thought I wouldn't want to move on to injections right before the holidays, but then I realized I could have gone through an entire cycle again before Christmas. Even if I do another cycle of Clomid, I would probably be onto a third cycle by mid-December!

So, even if I do another round of Clomid for cycle #2, I'm still going to be moving on to injections in mid-December. I don't know if I want my first time doing injections to be while we're traveling to see family in another state, and I don't even know if it would be possible in terms of monitoring. At the same time, it's tempting to stick it out with Clomid for one more cycle, since it's cheap and easy. What would be even cheaper and easier, though, is if it just worked this time, so I wouldn't have to think about it!

So far so good

I took my second dose of Clomid last night, and I have been feeling ok overall. I think that the last time I took it, it was more like 100 or 150 mg, and I am pretty sure I took it for ten days (followed by a trigger shot). I remember feeling kind of lousy, but they were also getting concerned about having too many follicles. They started talking about selective reduction, which was kind of ironic since my ex-husband's sperm was all screwed up in the first place. I still can't believe they didn't think to mention that until my second IUI! Anyway - so far, this is much better. I hope it keeps going ok. I decided to keep doing my bbt, just to see how it goes, and I'm still using the clearblue fertility monitor to see when I might ovulate. I know those machines are expensive, but it is so worth it! I think it's so much easier than dealing with opk's.

Hopefully, I will keep feeling ok! One of M's concerns through all this is my health and overall well-being. If it's too hard on me, I know he won't want to keep pursuing treatment. It's good that I have felt mostly ok so far.

At some point, I'll have to decide what we want to do for the next cycle. My insurance isn't covering anything yet, but Clomid was only $18. Since we aren't doing an IUI, the whole cycle pretty much costs $18. It's possible my insurance will approve everything within the next few weeks, so I may have the option of moving on to injectibles after this cycle. If I feel ok for the rest of the cycle, though, I might be tempted to give Clomid one more chance. I don't want to drag things out, but I want to enjoy the holidays, too. I guess I just have to wait and see!